Convincing others to change their mind is really the act of persuading them to switch tribes. They fear losing social connections if they lose their convictions. You can’t ask anyone to change their mind if you deprive them of their culture. You must use them as a place to go. Nobody requires their worldview to be demolished as a result of alienation.
People’s minds can be influenced while being friends with them, adopting them into your tribe, and bringing them into your circle. They will now change their minds without fear of social rejection.
Alain de Botton, a British philosopher, proposes that we actually exchange meals with others who disagree with all of us.
“Sitting at a table of strangers has the incomparable and peculiar advantage of making it a bit more difficult to dislike them with impunity. Abstraction generates prejudice and racial tension. The proximity provided by a meal, but on the other hand – something about passing dishes around, unfurling napkins at the same time, even asking a stranger to move the salt – disrupts our desire to hold to the illusion that strangers who wear unfamiliar clothing and talk with odd accents need to be sent home or murdered. For all the large-scale international strategies offered to alleviate ethnic strife, there are few more successful ways to foster harmony among suspicious neighbors than forcing them to share supper together.”
Perhaps it is isolation rather than divergence that breeds tribalism and hostility. Understanding grows in direct proportion to proximity. I’m reminded of Abraham Lincoln’s famous line, “I don’t like that dude.” I ought to spend some time with him.”
Facts don’t change our minds.
You are more able to offer radical thought credibility, weight, or consideration if someone you know, like, and trust believes in it. In certain aspects of your life, you still agree with them. Maybe you should reconsider on this one as well.
This distinction can be illustrated by measuring beliefs on a graph. If you split this distribution into ten units and find yourself at Position 7, it is pointless and attempts to persuade anyone at Position 1. The chasm is much too big. When you’re in Position 7, you can spend your time interacting with people in Positions 6 and 8, eventually pushing them in your path.
The most heated arguments often take place between people on opposing sides of the continuum, but the most common learning takes place from people who are close. The more you get to know someone, the more likely it is that the one or two views you don’t share can seep into your own head and form your thought. The greater the difference between someone’s suggestion and your present situation, the more likely you are to dismiss it outright.
It is very difficult can go from one face to the other when it comes to shifting people’s minds. You can’t go from one end of the continuum to the other. You would slip down it.
Any proposal that is too dissimilar to the present worldview would be seen as dangerous. And the safest way to think about a potentially dangerous concept is in a non-threatening atmosphere.As a result, books are often a more appropriate means for increasing diversity than interactions or disagreements.
