->Over-Apologizing:
We are trained to say please and thank you as soon as we can speak, followed by I’m sorry. We are taught from a young age that if we do something wrong, we must apologize.
And that is still true—if you break etiquette norms, arrive late for an important gathering, or upset a friend, expressing you’re sorry is frequently a vital step in righting the mistake.
You want to keep your boss and your clients happy, so it can be tempting to say you’re sorry for everything that goes wrong—including the things that are completely out of your control. But it’s important to recognize that not everything is your burden to bear. Apologizing unnecessarily can actually undercut your professionalism by introducing doubt and diminishing others’ confidence in you.
So quit pleading for forgiveness for the crooked chair in the conference room (unless it’s your duty to fix it) or the UPS guy being late. If you follow these do’s and don’ts, you’ll be able to keep the “I’m sorry’s” at bay.
Harvesting and selecting which mistakes merit an apology reveal your command (or lack thereof) of professional judgment. If you make the same profuse apologies for forgetting to bring a notebook to a meeting as you do for missing an important deadline, you’re effectively elevating the two gaffes to the same level, even if they’re not even close.
When you say “I’m sorry” or “my apologies for,” you’re effectively accepting responsibility for a result, whether or not it was your fault. So, if it isn’t, why should others believe you’re wrong?
If a speaker is late for your event because he overslept and missed his trip, you can try to address the situation, but don’t apologize for his bad behavior—not it’s your responsibility.
->Over-Scrolling:
While the act of continuously scrolling through social media or surfing the web and taking in a constant torrent of bad news isn’t really new, it’s gotten new attention during the pandemic and even a new name: doom-scrolling.
Chances are, at some point, you’ve found yourself doing this, an unending scroll in the harsh light of your smartphone or computer screen. Whether it’s Facebook or Google or any number of other places, you’re subjecting yourself to a constant stream of terrible news.
But, surprise, doom-scrolling isn’t good for your mental health for a variety of reasons. We talked to psychologists, about doom-scrolling, including why we do it and how we can stop this bad habit.
-> Counting your failures :
It is simple to count your blessings. If you were asked to make a list of ten things you’re grateful for right now, you’d probably be able to come up with 20. You may even pause for a moment to reflect on your blessings, recalling for a minute with a grin on your face. Failures are unpleasant to remember and much more terrible to contemplate. It can elicit a wide range of feelings such as humiliation, annoyance, rage, embarrassment, and disappointment. Who wants to consider that? Who decides to consider that?
The most successful people view and respond to failure quite differently than the rest of us. Instead of beating themselves up, they examine what went wrong. Instead of making excuses and blaming others, they look for things they might have done differently.
Instead of viewing failure as a sign that they should abandon their plans, they identify the lessons they need to learn and apply them to their future plans
Whenever they fail or when a scenario does not go as planned, they may become dissatisfied and upset.
For a while, they may feel sorry for themselves. However, they do not linger on these emotions. They don’t knit them into a blanket to be carried on their shoulders like a weight to bear and use as an excuse to leave. They may take failure personally at first, but they quickly recover perspective, brush themselves off, and try again. They’re even grateful it occurred in the end.
->Telling yourself you‘re not good enough :
The connection you have with yourself, like any other, should be fostered. However, life may change and unpleasant events can stomp on your confidence over time. When you continually lack self-confidence, it might be difficult to overcome your anxiety of not being good enough.
You may feel tempted to give up and wallow in self-loathing, but you should attempt to turn things around and make the most of it. This is why it is critical to identify the root of the problem. Why do so many individuals think they are unworthy? Is it in their blood? That might be the case. You must figure out why you’re feeling this way. “The better you understand why, the simpler it is to conquer.” You must investigate the source of your anxiety. Is it founded on any truth, or on our perceptions of what others think of us? This is frequently incorrect.
When your present circumstance isn’t looking well, it might be difficult to be cheerful. However, if this occurs, remember your prior accomplishments to help you overcome your worry of not being good enough. “Concentrate on prior accomplishments. Remember what you did to overcome adversity or attain a certain objective. Relive that sensation in your thoughts. Repeatedly visualize a successful conclusion “Zaucha explains.
->Being ungrateful:
No matter how bad you have it, someone will be worse off; no matter how good you have it, someone will be doing better. Gratitude allows you to focus on what you do have instead of what you don’t. It gives you the confidence to appreciate what’s around you and the poise to pay attention to details you might overlook. Any time you need a boost, take an inventory of all the great things you have.
In short: Be positive, be true and forgiving with yourself, be grateful. That’s the recipe for building self-confidence.
