We’ve all had lousy days or weeks where nothing seems to go our way. We’ve all had instances when we didn’t succeed in achieving something we really wanted and found it difficult to cope. Some people, on the other hand, appear to be significantly better at picking themselves up and dusting themselves down after these events than others.
These persons are not fundamentally “better” in any sense; simply, they have established good habits and skills that enable them to overcome failure and turn it into a more positive experience. In fact, they view failure as an opportunity to learn and grow. This page describes and explores some of these talents, as well as how you might improve your capacity to cope with failure more gently.
These some ways to deal with failure:
1. Accept and Embrace Your Thoughts
Embarrassment, fear, wrath, grief, and shame are just a handful of the emotions that come with failure. Those feelings are unpleasant, and many people will go to any length to avoid experiencing emotional distress.
According to a 2017 study published in the Journal of Behavioral Decision Making, you shouldn’t try to get rid of your terrible feelings following a failure. Researchers discovered that focusing on your emotions rather than the failure itself is the most effective strategy.
So go ahead and feel your feelings. Recognize how you’re feeling and allow yourself to be sad for a while. As you allow yourself to feel your feelings, write them down. For example “I’m disappointed,” or “I’m disappointed that it didn’t work out,” .
2. Perceive Unhealthy Attempts to Reduce Pain
“I didn’t really want that job anyhow,” you might think, but diminishing your pain won’t make it go away. Distracting yourself or trying to replace the hole you’re experiencing with food, drugs, or alcohol won’t help you feel better. Those goods will only provide you with a brief respite.
Recognize the harmful methods you use to avoid or reduce pain in your life. Using coping strategies that cause more harm than good will simply exacerbate your problem.
3. Make it as simple as possible
One factor why some people are devastated by failure is that their identity is linked with their ability to succeed.
To put it another way, when they fail, they regard themselves as a failure rather than a setback. Instead of seeing failure or success as personal, try to consider them as something you go through. It has no effect on the true ‘you.’
This brings us back to Kipling’s point: success and failure are not inherent characteristics of the individual. ‘I am a success’ or ‘I am a failure’ should not be a part of your identity.
4. Take the perfect proportion of liability
We have all met individuals who are generally prepared to fault others or occasions for their absence of progress.
- “The ref was one-sided”!
- “The educator could do without me, that is the reason my imprint was so low”.
- “If by some stroke of good luck I wasn’t sick the previous summer, I could never have missed half a month of preparing”.
It is vital to perceive when other, outside factors have impacted your prosperity. You don’t require and shouldn’t attempt to fault yourself for everything, especially assuming that it is beyond your reach.
It is, notwithstanding, additionally critical to perceive how you personally might have further developed matters. For instance, might you at any point have prepared or worked more enthusiastically? Was your amendment actually everything that could be had been? Did you truly get ready for that meeting in the most ideal manner?
Assume a sense of ownership with the variables over which you have control, and don’t be enticed to take cover behind pardons.
5. Accept Responsibility for Your Mistakes in a Reasonable Manner
Pretending something isn’t true or ignoring the underlying explanation for how things turned out is futile and will never make up for what happened. In the same way that taking on too much responsibility can make you feel anxious and tense, failing to accept responsibility for your actions prevents you from learning from your mistakes. Make no excuses for your mistakes. Make an attempt to figure out why things went the way they did, acknowledge whatever mistakes you made, and concentrate on learning from them.
