When it comes to the important relationships in our lives, conflict is inevitable. The desire to be loved, understood, and connected is hardwired into every one of us. When we are unable to fulfil that desire, there is a possibility that our mental health and well-being will be put in jeopardy. Regardless of whether the danger is real or imagined, our body’s “fight, flight, or freeze” response is activated, which leads us down a path we’re already familiar with.
Some people have a defence mechanism that causes them to withdraw emotionally and shut down when they are provoked. Others resort to attacking others by blaming, shaming, criticising, and judging as a means of releasing their pent-up feelings or as a desperate and misguided attempt to reestablish connection. They do this as a way to vent their overwhelming emotions.
Vital Key Points For Build Relationship
Here are three key points for moving from conflict to connection:
Pause
When we feel ourselves becoming emotionally activated, the very first thing we need to do is take a moment to pause. The antidote to acting impulsively is pausing long enough to look inward before responding. Although it is only natural to feel the urge to react, we need to use our executive functioning to respond appropriately to the situation. To reduce the intensity of our emotional responses, we can make use of the more rational side of our brain. Instead of allowing our instinctual flight-or-fight responses to control us, we have the ability to engage the parasympathetic branch of our nervous system. How can we accomplish that? The first thing to do is to brake, which will bring the speeding freight train to a halt.
When we take a moment to pause, we give ourselves the opportunity to access inner resources that can help us remain calm, ideally before a conflict has had a chance to develop. There has been a lot of research done on the effectiveness of taking a few slow, deep breaths as a way to stay connected to oneself and to soothe oneself. If we take a moment to pause and are aware of where to look, we may find unseen assistance.
2. Attending to Our Feelings
When we slow down, we are better able to focus our attention on the things that are happening on the inside of us. A great number of people report that anger is the first feeling that they become aware of and possibly act upon. When we are emotionally triggered, the impulse to lash out in rage and place blame is strong.
When one avoids looking inward and instead focuses on blaming, shaming, criticising, or diagnosing others. They may experience a momentary sense of satisfaction. The purpose of pointing the finger at another person is to alleviate the emotional distress. We feel by diverting attention away from ourselves. Then they might respond by passing the embarrassing and painful responsibility. It back to us as a way to avoid their own shame and pain. Conflict escalates.
3. The Expression of Our Genuine Heart
The first step in developing self-love is recognising and accepting our emotions in their natural state. As we come to terms with our genuine emotions, we put ourselves in a position to communicate our experiences. And requirements from a more compassionate rather than a combative stance. However our tone of voice and demeanour reflect our most profound feelings and desires. When we congruently express what we’re experiencing internally. When we are more likely to elicit a response that is accepting of what we have to say.
It is difficult to continue arguing with someone who does not appear to be willing in the debate themselves.
As we become more experienced in sharing from our hearts. Rather than butting heads with one another, we create an environment. That is safer for connection and trust to flourish.
Final Verdict
This blog post will help you to know the art of moving from conflicts to connection.
